The week Breffni decides to step up to the plate, the week singing Sam gets to take control and put on a panto and finally the week Bill gets his liathróidí out and Charlie our resident Apprentice blogger misses it and hands the reins to me to recap what to me was the best episode so far.
The task was superb, the stuff dreams are made of - Create a new variety of the Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate bar with an Irish twist and launch it at the Cadbury Annual Sales Conference.
We started the show with Sam singing Happy Birthday to the Breffmeister and when Bill appointed the two as PM’s you just felt sure we were going to loose one of the entertainers. (I’m being kind to Sam with that description). So it began, Breff who had called himself a ‘tea boy’ last week lined up with Aoiffe, Ruth and his beloved Geraldine (allegedly). At the initial focus group the name ‘Blasta’ was suggested and Breff’s eyes lit up. They went to Cadburys and narrowed it down to either Rhubarb and Custard or a tri-colour mix of Multi-seed, Orange peel and Crispies. Ruth and Aoifffffffe who quite clearly felt they were far superior to poor ol Breff decided they wanted to call the bar ‘ Trinity’ and so it was decision time and we finally got to see why Harvard was damn lucky to have Breff – His famous intuition had led him to Blasta, he was decisive, he told them it was Blasta. He had decided and it was time to row in behind their leader. The sight of Brian Purcell standing behind him willing Breff on with a clenched fist was fantastic, the tide had turned – The Breff had become a contender.
Meanwhile singing Sam had decided to put Stephen Higgins in his place by telling him in no uncertain terms it was her way or the highway. The other Steve caught on fast and decided to be her lapdog for the day and to be fair I was initially surprised. She wasn’t that bad – She went to the focus group and while her psychotic grin was off putting she hadn’t yet sang and she looked to be in control. They narrowed it down to either Rhubarb and Custard or a variety of rocky road – Raglan Road. Then the wheels started to come off – Sam decided Raglan road was a fantastic idea and then went with the Rhubarb and Custard – She neglected to tell Lucinda and Stephen this and they went off to make Raglan road while Sam poured custard into vases and decorated with rhubarb. Eventually Lucinda and Stephen realised they were working on the wrong bar and switched to Sam’s choice. Sam decided a little fairy tale would go a long way and dressed the very disturbed lads in Yellow and Pink. It would have been wonderful if she was presenting to a bunch of seven years olds – unfortunately for her she wasn’t and Bill watched on clearly mystified.
The board room was lively, Aoiffe described Breff as horrendous which was incredibly harsh – Blasta won out on the day and Breff looked delighted. The imaginatively named Rhubarb & Custard was the loser by just 7 votes. In my opinion the gap was only seven because of Lucinda’s fantastic presentation style compared to Ruth’s dull and boring presentation. Sam brought the two Steve’s back and it soon became apparent Sam was getting the bullet; she then refused a comforting hug from Stephen Higgins and left clearly feeling very bitter.
In a week when Breff shone I have to give the final word to him, as Aoiffe and Ruth sharpened their claws midway through the day he proudly declared - "The amount of aggression and angst here would make the battle of Normandy look like a game of paintball" .
In Breff we trust – give him the gig for he has clearly lifted the spirits of the nation. So who do you think is going to win ?