{"id":8710,"date":"2024-07-16T10:35:16","date_gmt":"2024-07-16T09:35:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.recruitireland.com\/advice-centre\/?p=8710"},"modified":"2024-07-16T10:35:16","modified_gmt":"2024-07-16T09:35:16","slug":"do-you-often-tell-people-how-busy-you-are-heres-why-you-should-stop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.recruitireland.com\/advice-centre\/do-you-often-tell-people-how-busy-you-are-heres-why-you-should-stop\/","title":{"rendered":"Do you often tell people how busy you are? Here\u2019s why you should stop"},"content":{"rendered":"

I used to\u00a0work\u00a0with this person. We\u2019ll call them, for the sake of it, Jamie.<\/p>\n

Jamie was a nice enough guy, all things considered, but he had one flaw \u2013 Jamie loved to boast about how busy he was. He had to be the busiest, most-put-upon person in the office where we worked. He complained from morning to night (and Jamie worked late, so he said) about how much stress and strain he was under. And you couldn\u2019t stop him talking. You couldn\u2019t avoid him. If you went for a cigarette Jamie would appear, complaining as he ran to lunch (al-desko, obviously) about how he never had time for smoke breaks. If you were making a cuppa Jamie would be there, sighing heavily about how parched he was without the time to boil the kettle. As far as I was aware, Jamie and I had the same job. And I could never understand why he was so pressed for time. I was so bored with this office job that I fell into a compulsive crossword habit and deliberately chose the seat in the corner of the room so I could spend hours on Web WhatsApp until it was time to go home.<\/p>\n

But Jamie\u2019s boasting got under my skin. Soon I started to feel stressed out about my demonstrably un-stressful job too. I started to feel like I should be panicky and over-worked. If I wasn\u2019t, did that mean I was doing a bad job? And if our boss looked at the pair of us and had to sack one, surely he\u2019d pick me to boot out the door over Jamie, who cared so much about doing his apparent mountains of work. I still kept up my crossword and WhatsApping habits, but I did them now under a sheen of constant anxiety. There was one silver lining, at least. I just found out I wasn\u2019t alone in my predicament, and neither (sadly) was Jamie.<\/p>\n

A new study, recently\u00a0published in the journal Personnel Psychology, delved deep into the practice of so-called \u201cstress bragging\u201d and discovered the extent of its negative workplace consequences, both for the recipients of the bragging, and for the stress braggarts themselves. The study asked 360 participants to rate an imaginary co-worker who indulged in stress bragging. They found that stress braggers should do well to be wary; engaging in the practice will cause colleagues to see you as not, in fact, booked and busy, but actually much less likable and less competent. They\u2019re also less likely to help you out in times of need. Unsurprisingly, colleagues of stress braggers will end up reporting higher levels of workplace stress themselves. Thanks Jamie.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not the being stressed part that\u2019s a problem,\u201d the study\u2019s lead author, Jessica Rodell, told the Guardian. \u201cWe found that if I perceive you as stressed, I actually see you as more competent. If you genuinely feel stressed, it\u2019s okay to find the right confidant to share with and talk about it. But be mindful that it is not a badge of honour to be bragged about.\u201d Otherwise, she warns, \u201cthey wind up feeling more stressed, which leads to higher burnout or withdrawal from their work. Think of it as this spiralling contagious effect from one person to the next.\u201d<\/p>\n

But if stress bragging is so detrimental, then why do we feel drawn to it in the first place? Is it an impulse, a negative tic, like picking a scab? When I put the question to the seat of my workplace boredom (the groupchat), friends of mine got surprisingly introspective over their own professional behaviour.<\/p>\n

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\u201cI don\u2019t even realise I\u2019m doing it, I suppose,\u201d said one, who works long hours in fintech. \u201cBut I\u2019m definitely guilty. I think it just feels like venting. If I say out loud how busy I am it feels like I\u2019m a little step further to managing everything, even if I\u2019ve done nothing.\u201d Nothing? I prod. \u201cWell, nothing except complain to other people, I suppose,\u201d my friend adds. Others pointed out that although there are negatives to workplace stress bragging \u2013 both to the bragger and braggee \u2013 there may be some hidden positives too.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s kind of like an expression of solidarity in a way,\u201d suggested a pal who works in video production. \u201cIt\u2019s like, we\u2019re all overworked, we\u2019re all underpaid, here\u2019s a way for us to complain together, around the water-cooler or whatever and share the burden.\u201d<\/p>\n

TV psychologist Honey Langcaster-James echoes this sentiment. \u201cGenerally speaking, when someone engages in stress bragging, it can be motivated by feeling stressed themselves and trying to employ this as a personal coping strategy, by offloading and talking about their feelings of stress,\u201d she says. \u201cThey may, in a not very adept way, be trying to seek social support from colleagues.\u201d<\/p>\n

Taken from this angle, stress bragging could be seen to be the unfortunate evil twin of actually unionising. And few of us are unionising any more.<\/p>\n

Statistics show union membership has plummeted from a high of more than 60\u00a0per cent in the early 1980s to about 25 per cent in Ireland today. In Britain, union membership density fell from 12.7 per cent in 2021 to 12.0 per cent in 2022 among private sector employees, and from 50 per cent to 48.6 per cent among public sector employees.<\/p>\n

As cost-of-living crises spiral around us and wages stagnate, we\u2019re becoming more and more individualistic in the workplace. Last year, research from Oxfam illustrated that workers in Ireland effectively took an almost 4 per cent pay cut in 2022 with wage growth lagging behind inflation. Is it any wonder we\u2019re so stressed out? Is it any wonder we\u2019re turning on each other?<\/p>\n

\u201cFocusing on the negatives of your job can undermine your coping abilities and affect your behaviour,\u201d says Langcaster-James. \u201cIt can cement the perception that you are in a stressful set of circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n

My video-producer friend may have felt like complaining was an act of collective solidarity but, as Jessica Rodell and her researchers found, it\u2019s actually driving us further and further apart. When I think back, through gritted teeth, to my time working with chronically overworked boaster Jamie, I never felt sorry for him, I never wanted to help him out. Admittedly my automatic response was to think of myself and what his behaviour meant for my performance, my job. At times I brooded over how bad he must have been at his own \u2013 if I could handle it with time left over, why not him too?<\/p>\n

Bragging as a way for someone to \u201cconvey that they are indispensable to the organisation\u201d can actually backfire, Langcaster-James says. \u201cIt may be reflective of a lack of security. They may feel that they need to highlight and amplify their work so they can further solidify their position. But it\u2019s been suggested by some studies that stress bragging causes a kind of ripple effect \u2013 that when people brag about stress it actually just transfers it to their colleagues and over time your presence can just become unwelcome. It\u2019s a maladaptive and unhelpful strategy in that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, is this the situation we\u2019re stuck with forever? I don\u2019t like to think so. But I have hope, too. Jamie and I \u2013 and the rest of my group chat \u2013 are all millennials. We love to complain about being busy. We\u2019re the generation who work long hours and panic about our non-existent prospects of progression. We\u2019re the generation who were taught to believe if we just worked hard, and more importantly, showed the world we were working hard, that we could get whatever we wanted.<\/p>\n

Gen Z, the generation behind us, have come of age in a world which has already demonstrated to them that working hard for little to no progression is a sunk-cost fallacy and a trap. And so, rather than bragging about their stress or complaining about their prospects, they adapt. They don\u2019t work in the same way \u2013 with better work-life balances, Gen Z, we\u2019re learning, have a better attitude to the cult of busy-ness. They know that busy-ness doesn\u2019t equal productivity. They care about unions, and they leave the office on time, every single day. They prioritise autonomy over suffering for profit (someone else\u2019s profits, of course).<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course we know that many people can suffer from stress in the workplace and if that is the case people should talk about it, but the appropriate way to do that is to talk to your manager about your workload and your autonomy,\u201d says Langcaster-James. \u201cStudies have long shown that as humans we can tolerate and even thrive in stressful situations, so long as we have autonomy to work in a way that suits us and is flexible around our personal lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

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In other words, maybe we could learn a thing or two from the Zoomers.<\/p>\n<\/article>\n

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I used to\u00a0work\u00a0with this person. We\u2019ll call them, for the sake of it, Jamie. Jamie was a nice enough guy, all things considered, but he had one flaw \u2013 Jamie loved to boast about how busy he was. He had to be the busiest, most-put-upon person in the office where we worked. He complained from… Continue reading Do you often tell people how busy you are? Here\u2019s why you should stop<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":8711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,78],"tags":[4],"class_list":["post-8710","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-careers","category-latest-career-advice-and-work-trends","tag-careers","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDo you often tell people how busy you are? 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