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CLOWN COMHAIRLE

 

Company:

IRELAND INC.
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Job Reference Number

14206746

Client ID:

RI/CLOWN COMHAIRLE
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Posted On:

Oct 7 2009

Location:

NATIONWIDE
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Job Type:

Part-time

Salary:

GENEROUS PLUS EXPENSES
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Due to foreseen circumstances it is necessary to advertise for the role of Clown Comhairle.

Functions of role:

  • Call on members to speak, in turn and sensibly.

  • Put questions to the House in a clear and concise manner.

  • Suppress disorder and enforce prompt obedience. Candidates with previous experience in crèche/children’s party planning could be an advantage.

  • Occasional bell ringing may be necessary.

  • This is a part-time position but you must be available to work 90 days in the year.

  • Expenses will be monitored



Requirements:

  • Be a long standing T.D – not Fianna Fail.

  • Be able to handle the boredom resulting from listening to bullsh*t all day.

  • Have a full clean driving license and own transport.

  • A fear of flying will be looked upon favourably.

  • Previous experience as a scapegoat is an advantage.

  • To be able to turn a blind eye.

  • Spouse must have own income source.

  • You will be required to absorb single booking supplement in hotel accommodation.

  • You must own a few hats.


Candidates must not:

  • Have an unhealthy interest in horse racing- twice annual trips to Shelbourne Park Dog Track will be included in package.
  • Mind flying with budget airlines- you will have to pay your own baggage and check in charges.
  • Claim for sleeping aids when abroad- you will be supplied with pre-recorded Dail sessions for this purpose.

Benefits of role:

  • Medical treatment extended to cover possible haemorrhoid development.
  • Cashback service on charitable donations.
  • The role enjoys elevated ergonomic chair to oversee proceedings.
  • You will always have the final word.
  • Any other benefits you can think of will be considered.


Please note: this is not a genuine job ad, just a bit of fun, please do not apply for this position!